teddywap:

my friend: i think you had too much to drink

me:

berries:

Adult: your hickey is crude and trashy, you should be ashamed

me: 

• is a teenager
  
• is living life and having fun
  
• is bothering no one
• hasn’t had 3 failed marriages
  
• didn’t ask, martha

hvliday:

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car

humvees:

sapphic–leia:

gablesmcgee:

the-real-seebs:

pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of sex education. we’ll do it properly.
public: applause
pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of snow plowing. we’ll do it properly.
public: confused applause

pornhub: chaotic good